Correcting Your Behavior Since 2017

Our Declining Language (part 23 in an endless series) —Quotation Mark Edition

Pity the poor, abused quotation mark. Its only proper uses are to indicate quotes, expressions, or euphemisms. But in these times when passionate-yet-deluded entitlement to individuality trumps any obligation to accuracy or tradition, professionally printed items are showing up with quotation marks around words and phrases that are none of those things. Today's reckless and misguided sign makers seem to now believe that these symbols are not so much types of punctuation as decorations to be used willy-nilly, for emphasis, whimsy, or for no reason at all.

If I'm reading this correctly, either the meat, the service, or both are merely alleged.

In addition to the lack of capitalization, the missing period, and the utterly

nonsensical comma, there is the mystery of what exactly "it" is a euphemism for.

So it's not an actual neighborhood?

One should avoid at all costs any food or drink item described using quotes.

These are simply inexplicable:

These are completely out of control:

And each of these ought to cause considerable concern:

Very sketchy.

What on earth . . .?

In closing, The Weekly Curmudgeon salutes the brilliant but

anonymous writer who took the time to compose the response below.

Bless you, sir or madam. You're a hero to us all.