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Correcting Your Behavior Since 2017

Our Declining Language (part 25 in an endless series) — Gone Phishing Edition

A classic character in the spy and detective genres is that of the criminal mastermind, an evildoer so ingenious as to outsmart even the cleverest of detectives. These masters of deception keep our heroes wracking their brains for missed clues all the way up until the very last chapter or the final scene.

. . . There aren't a lot of criminal masterminds in the phishing game.


$12,800,000.00! There are days I simply cannot believe my good fortune.

Here's a pro tip, phishers: It's always a good idea to capitalize

the name of the company one is attempting to impersonate.

Well, this all looks perfectly legit.

This one may be my favorite. Look at the name of the company on the copyright line. SO close.

Excess income? Count me in!

Now, this one is subtle. Other than a few instances of strange spacing, the

only clue is that the Curmudgeon doesn't have an account with Wells Fargo.

"If you no verification is performed"? Does anyone really fall for this stuff?

And finally, the pièce de résistance, the winner of The Weekly Curmudgeon's 2020 award for creative writing . . .


Nice try, phishers, but I think we can leave these cases to Inspector Lestrade.

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