Uncommon Decency
If you came here for humor, this may be a week you'd like to skip. This week, it's time for a refresher course on being human. And the...
They Started It
As we all know, the ability to participate in a well-reasoned debate isn’t something we’re born with. It's highly unlikely that "I see...
Captive Audience
I would very much like to take a poll, if such a thing were possible, so as to determine precisely what percentage of the populations of...
Could You, or Could You Not, Care Less?
There is perhaps no more abused expression in the English language than the perfectly logical, clearly communicative, "I couldn't care...
Tipping Point
There has been a long-standing tradition—it's a requirement, really—of tipping those who provide certain types of services. One tips...
Nothing Left to Eat
Friends, the news isn't good. Food, it seems, is bad for you. "Oh, Curmudgeon," I hear you say, "You're so dramatic. Surely, not all food...
How Microphones Work
This may turn out to be a very short installment of The Weekly Curmudgeon. Its message could easily by summed up in a single sentence....
Cave Paintings
Communication must have been challenging in the old days. And when I speak of the old days in this case, I'm not talking about the Jazz...
Proper Profanity
Today, the Curmudgeon has a message for you on the subject of profanity—you know: cursing, cussing, swearing, so-called “bad”...
UnAmerican Cheese
American cheese isn't cheese. There, I've said it. To be perfectly clear, American cheese is partially cheese. It contains cheese. By...
'This Is Not What Single Quotes Are For'
Pity the poor abused pair of punctuation marks we call single quotes. Though half of the pair doubles as an apostrophe, as a team, they...
The Great Mystery Unlocked: How Infidelity Happens
"We never meant for it to happen. It just happened." That's the account frequently offered when someone has been caught cheating on his...
"Man-splaining" "Manspread"
Women don't have it easy in our society. On average, female employees are paid less than their male counterparts—an utterly unacceptable...
The Eternal, Indisputable, Absolutely Non-Negotiable Rules of Theatre Attendance
It will no doubt come as a surprise to some readers that there are entire collections of behavioral protocols that were once part of what...
Your Pets and Your Children
Pets and children can bring great joy to people's lives. They also bring certain obvious responsibilities. That's why choosing to have a...
Words and Their Meanings: "Underwear"
At some point, probably in the 1980s, Americans began to concern ourselves less with using words accurately, favoring instead the far...

